Hello sublist,
after a long time of silence... you may find below some absolutely objective and unprejudiced
opinions regarding some nationalities.
Best regards and have a nice weekend
Otto
**********************************
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH
1 You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them
2 You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer
3 a). You can legally kill yourself b). You can legally be killed
4 You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you.
5 You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks
Copenhagen is your capital.
6 You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a
national tradition
7 You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country
8 You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still
you've never seen your neighbours
9 If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started,
blame the Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans
10 Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN
1 You get to speak three languages, but none of them intelligibly
2 If other countries want to fight a war, they will do it in your
country
3 You can brew drinks out of fruit, and still call it beer
4 You are either
a) Like the Dutch, just less efficient
b) Like the French, just less romantic
c) Like the Germans, just less intelligent
5 Decent fries. Real mayonnaise. Great chocolate. The best beer
6 No one knows anything about you, except for the Dutch and the
French and they make fun of you
7 More scandals in a week than any other country in a decade
8 You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody cares
9 All your famous countrymen are either imaginary, or sex-offenders
10 Face it. It's not really a country, is it?
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH :
1 Guinness
2 18 children because you can't use contraceptives
3 You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road
4 Pubs never close
5 Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in second Vatican
Council of 1968
to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on
6 Call an English breakfast an Irish breakfast
7 Kill people you don't agree with
8 Stew
9 Calling Celtic music your music, even when the Scottish, English
and welsh music all sound the same
10 Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the
morning after a bout of sectarian violence
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH:
1 When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay
2 Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time
3 You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs
4 If there's a war you can surrender really early
5 You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on
Channel 4
6 You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries
7 You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
8 Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street
humiliating your sense of national pride
9 You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street
10 People think you're a great lover even when you smell and you're
not
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN:
1 You get to pay the highest taxes in the world
2 You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolf the Reindeer
3 You live in total freezing darkness half the year and get 24 hours
ozone-hole radiation the other half
4 You can get capital punishment for smoking dope
5 You can go skiing in your knickers
6 You get to hate the Swedes and beat the Brazilians in football
7 You have to be a woman to get anywhere
8 You don't need to worry about land prices rocketing - its fairly
spacious
9 When abroad you can impress people you meet with stories about
killing polar bears and shagging penguins - and they believe you
10 You can actually get bored with blondes
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH :
1 Two World Wars and One World Cup
2 Warm beer
3 You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket
4 You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events
5 Union jack underpants
6 Water shortages guaranteed every single summer
7 You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power
8 Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not
9 Ditto changing underwear
10 Beats being Welsh, Irish or Scottish
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH :
1 You ain't English!
2 You ain't English!
3 You ain't English!
4 You ain't English!
5 You ain't English!
6 You ain't English!
7 You ain't English!
8 You ain't English!
9 You ain't English!
10 You ain't English!
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN :
1 In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
2 Unembarrassed to wear fur
3 No need to worry about tax returns
4 Glorious military history prior to 400BC
5 Can wear sunglasses inside
6 Political stability
7 Flexible working hours
8 Live near the Pope
9 Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair
10 Country run by Sicilian murderers
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH :
1 Glorious history of killing South American tribes
2 The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees
3 You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc
4 The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans
5 Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing
6 Honesty
7 Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight
clothes and risk your life in front of bulls
8 You get to eat bull's testicles
9 You cry for Gibraltar
10 Supported Argentina in Falklands War
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN :
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
Give them a second chance:
1 Oktoberfest
2 Oktoberfest-beer
3 BMW
4 VW
5 Audi
6 Mercedes
7 On a highway you can travel at a speed that would bring you to jail
in any other country of the world
8 You do not have to learn German as a foreign language
9 You think Sauerkraut is delicious
10 Contrary to common belief laughing is not forbidden by law (yet)
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH:
1 You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN :
1 You can have a woman president without electing her
2 You can spell color wrong and get away with it
3 You can call Budweiser beer
4 You can be a crook and still be president
5 If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything
6 If you can breathe you can get a gun
7 You get to be really obese
8 You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody
seems to care
9 You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"
10 You can think you're the greatest nation on earth
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN :
1 It beats being an American
2 Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
the ground
3 You can play ice hockey 12 months a year, outdoors
4 Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
the ground
5 Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
6 A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity
ratings will rise
7 Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
the ground
8 Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their
skins
9 Own-an-Eskimo scheme
10 Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
the ground
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Found virus VBS_HOMEPAGE.A in file homepage.HTML.vbs
The file homepage.HTML.vbs is moved to /etc/iscan/virus/virVAAYzaONu.
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Hi!
You've got to see this page! It's really cool ;O)
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Hello TC6 sublist,
happy new year to all of you.
Remember that you can submit interesting nontechnical stories via
ifip-tc6sublist(a)informatik.rwth-aachen.de
Here comes such a story.
Have fun.
Otto Spaniol
*****************************************************************
Here is the LOST CHAPTER IN GENESIS....
So God asked him, "What is wrong with you?"
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.
God said that He was going to make Adam a companion
and that it would be a woman.
God said, "This person will gather food for you,
cook for you, and when you discover clothing she'll wash it for you.
She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your
children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take
care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit
she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have
headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need
it."
Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"
God replied, "An arm and a leg."
Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"
The rest is history..
Some puzzles and teaching lessons for the Americans.
Koos Koen
Knowhow International
PO Box 87694
Houghton
2041
South Africa
-------------------------------------
Tel: +27(0)824436430
Fax: +27(0)821314436430
koos(a)knowinter.com
-------------------------------------
Hello sublist,
here comes a story which was recently seen in German TV (in the
so called Harald Schmidt show). I try to translate into English.
Best wishes
Otto
*****************************************
A recent opinion poll in Germany has shown that German parents
read less and less books (or fairy tales) to their children.
This is a very sad development.
However, this tendency can be well explained and forgiven since...
(see below).
Suppose that a father reads to his small child the fairy tale "Froschkoenig"
(i.e. the king who was transformed by a witch into a frog) and if he
comes to the sentence saying: "And when the princess kissed the ugly
looking frog then all of a sudden the frog became a most beautiful prince".
And then the child will ask the following question:
"And this Pokemon cannot do anything else???"
Hello subset of TC6 delegates,
we have installed a sublist of TC6 delegates.
Namely those who actively confessed that they don't protest too much
against some nontechnical stuff. (The list includes also those of you who
had contributed in recent years by means of some jokes etc.).
Nevertheless the list is surprisingly short.
You can use the list with the following address:
ifip-tc6sublist(a)informatik.rwth-aachen.de
If you want to unsubscribe: please send me a short message.
As a starting nontechnical thing I would like to give you
the decryption of
LUFTHANSA
LUFTHANSA means: Let Us Fuck The Horse As No Steward Available.
As an explanation: Lufthansa is known for its habit to hire either
old stewardesses or homosexual stewards.
Best wishes
Otto
