Hello Sublist,
the following was found by me a few days ago in a news paper of a country (it is a member of IFIP!) whose press is not particularly well known for "doubtful" contributions. Maybe the censorship didn't work perfectly in this case.
Personally, I have to admit that I don't fully understand all of the 26 topics but at least some of them (Nr. 12 or 17 for example) seem to be "oh la la".
Best wishes Otto
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COMPARISON OF WOMEN O FOOTBALL GROUNDS
1. There is a vast difference in grounds with regards to length and width, thus varying the quality of the play.
2. Pitches vary from the well-grassed to the completely bald.
3. Remember it is possible to score at both ends.
4. Tackling from behind is not always an offence - check with ground owner.
5. Only some grounds offer five-a-side facilities.
6. Be careful, as after a few pints a ground appears to be of premiership standards but in reality would not even be eligible as a council dumping ground.
7. Don't ever make public your desires to play at Wembley, also never mention pitches previously visited.
8. If the ground does not seem to have under-soil heating suggest calling the game off, possibly even contact coroner.
9. Extra time is dependent on subsequent pitch bookings.
10. When building a team it is always nice to finish with Seaman at the back.
11. Wet pitches allow for long sliding tackles.
12. Always ask before leaving the pitch and entering the tunnel. Conversely, do not expect to be allowed to come straight from the tunnel to the goal mouth and score. That can leave a nasty taste in the mouth of the pitch owner and may prevent further use of the ground.
13. Personal morals may be compromised by local derbies.
14. It is illegal to play on small, unturfed pitches.
15. From time to time the goal may be obstructed by a highly absorbent goalie.
16. Russian grounds are frequently more grassy.
17. French grounds are frequently very nice to look at, however there can sometimes be an awful smell from the terraces which don't get hosed down as often as they should.
18. Very few grounds are found with executive boxes.
19. Be wary of grounds with room for coaches.
20. Always be on the look out for football that host ladies football two evenings a week.
21. Pitches with waterloggeed end can be out of bounds for up to 5 days a month, although this can be longer if you p... the owner off by continually asking to play up the good end instead.
22. Players will have to agree personal terms with the club, before being allowed to play on the turf.
23. Don't forget that if you see your hands in the area you may be penalised.
24. As the spot can be very indistinct on some pitches you may need to ask the pitch owner to help you locate it. It is a good idea to re- mark it in white each time you play.
25. If there is a strong wind you need to be careful which end you choose.
26. Use your subs wisely so that you have a hard man for the climax of the game.