Hello sublist, after a long time of silence... you may find below some absolutely objective and unprejudiced opinions regarding some nationalities. Best regards and have a nice weekend Otto ********************************** TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH 1 You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them 2 You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer 3 a). You can legally kill yourself b). You can legally be killed 4 You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you. 5 You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks Copenhagen is your capital. 6 You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a national tradition 7 You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country 8 You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still you've never seen your neighbours 9 If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame the Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans 10 Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN 1 You get to speak three languages, but none of them intelligibly 2 If other countries want to fight a war, they will do it in your country 3 You can brew drinks out of fruit, and still call it beer 4 You are either a) Like the Dutch, just less efficient b) Like the French, just less romantic c) Like the Germans, just less intelligent 5 Decent fries. Real mayonnaise. Great chocolate. The best beer 6 No one knows anything about you, except for the Dutch and the French and they make fun of you 7 More scandals in a week than any other country in a decade 8 You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody cares 9 All your famous countrymen are either imaginary, or sex-offenders 10 Face it. It's not really a country, is it? TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH : 1 Guinness 2 18 children because you can't use contraceptives 3 You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road 4 Pubs never close 5 Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on 6 Call an English breakfast an Irish breakfast 7 Kill people you don't agree with 8 Stew 9 Calling Celtic music your music, even when the Scottish, English and welsh music all sound the same 10 Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH: 1 When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay 2 Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time 3 You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs 4 If there's a war you can surrender really early 5 You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4 6 You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries 7 You can be ugly and still become a famous film star 8 Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride 9 You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street 10 People think you're a great lover even when you smell and you're not TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN: 1 You get to pay the highest taxes in the world 2 You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolf the Reindeer 3 You live in total freezing darkness half the year and get 24 hours ozone-hole radiation the other half 4 You can get capital punishment for smoking dope 5 You can go skiing in your knickers 6 You get to hate the Swedes and beat the Brazilians in football 7 You have to be a woman to get anywhere 8 You don't need to worry about land prices rocketing - its fairly spacious 9 When abroad you can impress people you meet with stories about killing polar bears and shagging penguins - and they believe you 10 You can actually get bored with blondes TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH : 1 Two World Wars and One World Cup 2 Warm beer 3 You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket 4 You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events 5 Union jack underpants 6 Water shortages guaranteed every single summer 7 You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power 8 Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not 9 Ditto changing underwear 10 Beats being Welsh, Irish or Scottish TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH : 1 You ain't English! 2 You ain't English! 3 You ain't English! 4 You ain't English! 5 You ain't English! 6 You ain't English! 7 You ain't English! 8 You ain't English! 9 You ain't English! 10 You ain't English! TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN : 1 In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes 2 Unembarrassed to wear fur 3 No need to worry about tax returns 4 Glorious military history prior to 400BC 5 Can wear sunglasses inside 6 Political stability 7 Flexible working hours 8 Live near the Pope 9 Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair 10 Country run by Sicilian murderers TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH : 1 Glorious history of killing South American tribes 2 The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees 3 You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc 4 The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans 5 Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing 6 Honesty 7 Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls 8 You get to eat bull's testicles 9 You cry for Gibraltar 10 Supported Argentina in Falklands War TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Give them a second chance: 1 Oktoberfest 2 Oktoberfest-beer 3 BMW 4 VW 5 Audi 6 Mercedes 7 On a highway you can travel at a speed that would bring you to jail in any other country of the world 8 You do not have to learn German as a foreign language 9 You think Sauerkraut is delicious 10 Contrary to common belief laughing is not forbidden by law (yet) TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH: 1 You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you? TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN : 1 You can have a woman president without electing her 2 You can spell color wrong and get away with it 3 You can call Budweiser beer 4 You can be a crook and still be president 5 If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything 6 If you can breathe you can get a gun 7 You get to be really obese 8 You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care 9 You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy" 10 You can think you're the greatest nation on earth TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN : 1 It beats being an American 2 Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground 3 You can play ice hockey 12 months a year, outdoors 4 Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground 5 Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe? 6 A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise 7 Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground 8 Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins 9 Own-an-Eskimo scheme 10 Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground