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Kein Betreff
by Otto Spaniol 09 Jan '03

09 Jan '03

Hello sublist, here come 3 lessons with attached moral. I'm pretty sure that some of you (in particular Kiril) will like that kind of moral. Best wishes Otto --------------------------------------------------------------------- Lesson Number 1 A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. Lesson Number 2 A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree, where he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. Lesson Number 3 When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions." The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit! Moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.

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40 years later
by Otto Spaniol 06 Jan '03

06 Jan '03

Hello sublist, here is another story which was sent to me a few days ago. Best regards Otto ------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------- A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car when something goes wrong with the car and it breaks down. Luckily, she happens to be near a farmhouse. She goes up to the farmhouse and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, she says to him, "Oh, it's Sunday night and my car broke down! I don't know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until tomorrow when I can get some help?" "Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but I don't want you messin' with my sons Jed and Luke." She looks through the screen door and sees two young men standing behind the farmer. She judges them to be in the early twenties. "Okay," she says. After they have gone to bed for the night the woman begins to think about the two boys in the room next to her. So she quietly goes into their room and says, "Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?" They say, "Huh?" She says, "The only thing is, I don't want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these condoms." She puts them on the boys, and the three of them go at it all night long. Forty years later Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth. Jed says, "Luke?" Luke says, "Yeah, Jed?" Jed says, "You remember that blonde woman that came by here about forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?" "Yeah," says Luke, "I remember." "Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?" asks Jed. "Nope," says Luke, "I reckon not." "Me, neither," says Jed, "Let's take these things off."

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Women and Football Grounds
by Otto Spaniol 06 Jan '03

06 Jan '03

Hello Sublist, the following was found by me a few days ago in a news paper of a country (it is a member of IFIP!) whose press is not particularly well known for "doubtful" contributions. Maybe the censorship didn't work perfectly in this case. Personally, I have to admit that I don't fully understand all of the 26 topics but at least some of them (Nr. 12 or 17 for example) seem to be "oh la la". Best wishes Otto ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- COMPARISON OF WOMEN O FOOTBALL GROUNDS 1. There is a vast difference in grounds with regards to length and width, thus varying the quality of the play. 2. Pitches vary from the well-grassed to the completely bald. 3. Remember it is possible to score at both ends. 4. Tackling from behind is not always an offence - check with ground owner. 5. Only some grounds offer five-a-side facilities. 6. Be careful, as after a few pints a ground appears to be of premiership standards but in reality would not even be eligible as a council dumping ground. 7. Don't ever make public your desires to play at Wembley, also never mention pitches previously visited. 8. If the ground does not seem to have under-soil heating suggest calling the game off, possibly even contact coroner. 9. Extra time is dependent on subsequent pitch bookings. 10. When building a team it is always nice to finish with Seaman at the back. 11. Wet pitches allow for long sliding tackles. 12. Always ask before leaving the pitch and entering the tunnel. Conversely, do not expect to be allowed to come straight from the tunnel to the goal mouth and score. That can leave a nasty taste in the mouth of the pitch owner and may prevent further use of the ground. 13. Personal morals may be compromised by local derbies. 14. It is illegal to play on small, unturfed pitches. 15. From time to time the goal may be obstructed by a highly absorbent goalie. 16. Russian grounds are frequently more grassy. 17. French grounds are frequently very nice to look at, however there can sometimes be an awful smell from the terraces which don't get hosed down as often as they should. 18. Very few grounds are found with executive boxes. 19. Be wary of grounds with room for coaches. 20. Always be on the look out for football that host ladies football two evenings a week. 21. Pitches with waterloggeed end can be out of bounds for up to 5 days a month, although this can be longer if you p... the owner off by continually asking to play up the good end instead. 22. Players will have to agree personal terms with the club, before being allowed to play on the turf. 23. Don't forget that if you see your hands in the area you may be penalised. 24. As the spot can be very indistinct on some pitches you may need to ask the pitch owner to help you locate it. It is a good idea to re- mark it in white each time you play. 25. If there is a strong wind you need to be careful which end you choose. 26. Use your subs wisely so that you have a hard man for the climax of the game.

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For Bush-lovers only
by Otto Spaniol 12 Dec '02

12 Dec '02

Hello Sublist, the attached pictures are for Bush-lovers only. So you are warned if you are too much Republican. Best wishes Otto

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Hu
by hudy 05 Dec '02

05 Dec '02

Dear Prof.Otto, I am happy to receive your email this morning, attachment is a joke to response your email. Best regards, Daoyuan Hu

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Hu
by Otto Spaniol 04 Dec '02

04 Dec '02

Hello sublist, Prof. Hu is our delegate from China. Maybe he will be the new Chinese leader ;-) See the following conversation. Best regards Otto -------------------------------------------------- Conversation between George W. and his National Security Advisor! George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. George: Great. Lay it on me. Condi: Hu is the new leader of China. George: That's what I want to know. Condi: That's what I'm telling you. George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China? Condi: Yes. George: I mean the fellow's name. Condi: Hu. George: The guy in China. Condi: Hu. George: The new leader of China. Condi: Hu. George: The Chinaman! Condi: Hu is leading China. George: Now whaddya' asking me for? Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China. George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China? Condi: That's the man's name. George: That's who's name? Condi: Yes. George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China? Condi: Yes, sir. George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East. Condi: That's correct. George: Then who is in China? Condi: Yes, sir. George: Yassir is in China? Condi: No, sir. George: Then who is? Condi: Yes, sir. George: Yassir? Condi: No, sir. George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. Condi: Kofi? George: No, thanks. Condi: You want Kofi? George: No. Condi: You don't want Kofi. George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N. Condi: Yes, sir. George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N. Condi: Kofi? George: Milk! Will you please make the call? Condi: And call who? George: Who is the guy at the U.N? Condi: Hu is the guy in China. George: Will you stay out of China?! Condi: Yes, sir. George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N. Condi: Kofi. George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. (Condi picks up the phone.) Condi: Rice, here. George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

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Research and Teaching
by Otto Spaniol 16 Oct '02

16 Oct '02

Dear sublist, here is some (maybe quite interesting) article concerning the North American university system. Best regards Otto --------------------------------------------------------------- FORGET TEACHING, RESEARCH IS KING Robert Fulford National Post A dangerous contradiction lies at the heart of the university system in North America. The citizens who pay for the great universities believe they exist mainly to teach the young and prepare them for the rest of their lives. People directing universities have other goals. They believe a university fulfills itself when it creates knowledge. Research makes a university legitimate. Administrators adore the term "research university." When you become a research university you enter the big leagues, like the best American schools. Many professors consider teaching at best a secondary activity, at worst a nuisance. That's a big change. Two or three generations ago, great teachers had great reputations, and their students were much envied. Today we rarely hear of such a person. The age of the star teacher has died. I have actually heard one tenured professor say of another, with blithe condescension, "He's not done anything important in years -- the only reason he retains any stature at all is that he's apparently quite a terrific teacher." University administrators will argue in public that they emphasize both teaching and research, more or less equally; but I have not heard anyone say this in private for at least 20 years. Certainly you won't find support for it in No place to learn: Why universities aren't working (University of British Columbia Press) a tough, eloquent book by two political scientists at the University of Alberta, Tom Pocklington and Allan Tupper. How can we be sure that universities no longer take teaching seriously? Pocklington and Tupper answer in one memorable sentence: "To our knowledge, no Canadian university in recent memory has hired a senior professor from another university because of his or her demonstrated teaching skills." (Outraged deans and provosts wishing to dispute this statement will please submit names and dates rather than the usual empty rhetoric.) A national survey by Pocklington and Tupper reveals that professors at all career levels believe hiring, promotion, and salary almost always depend on published research, almost never on teaching. Pocklington and Tupper go so far as to question the principle that research and teaching are interdependent and that good researchers make good teachers. This is a sacred belief in academe, but no one has ever demonstrated it; the only evidence for it is anecdotal, the kind that professors reject when it's offered by students. Anyway, say Pocklington and Tupper, if that idea is valid, why do universities reward good researchers by lightening their "teaching load?" They also argue that professors, driven to justify themselves, often do research of no value to anyone. The conflict between the public's belief in teaching and the academic belief in research makes the central problem of the university unique; there's no other great social institution afflicted by such a radical division between public expectations and professional goals. Can anything be done about it? No Place to Learn says universities must re-establish undergraduate teaching as their first priority and recognize it as "a complex and important activity that demands broad reading, disciplined thought, and great effort." The word "effort" clicks quietly into place in that sentence, but behind it we can glimpse the outline of an embarrassing question: Are established, tenured university professors, as a class, lazy? Pocklington and Tupper say most professors work hard. Yet they note that in the 1990s, when universities complained that reduced government grants were eroding education, "not one of them responded by increasing the teaching obligations of their permanent instructors. In fact, many managed to reduce even further the teaching activities of professors." No Place to Learn has drawn a searching and thoughtful response from Reg Whitaker in the September issue of the Literary Review of Canada. A political science professor, much admired for his writing on subjects ranging from the RCMP to the financing of the Liberal Party, Whitaker mentions in passing that last year, at age 58, he retired from York University -- apparently because he couldn't stand the system any longer. He endorses the conclusions of No Place to Learn and enlarges the debate by discussing a subject that Pocklington and Tupper don't emphasize, the poisoning of university life by rights-seeking groups who insist (Whitaker writes) that academic life is naturally "sexist and racist and can only by kept in check through intensive regulation and control ... Everything that goes on must be monitored and policed." Which, of course, is the opposite of how we expect universities to operate. Whitaker, while favouring equality of treatment, has learned by bitter experience that codifying decency and fairness has created a nightmare. Consider the intense anxiety that afflicts hiring committees, whose members know that every tiny decision may come under the hostile microscope of an "equity officer" or some other licenced busybody. For Whitaker, one great benefit of retirement is that he'll never again have to take part in this charade. Pocklington and Tupper write with clarity and vigour, aiming at a general public. They deserve wide readership, though it's doubtful that a university press can find it for them. They hope to create a debate about universities, which for too long have sailed "on seas of unwarranted deference." But the system may be beyond fixing. Tenure, entrenched labour unions, rampant careerism, uncomprehending politicians, narrow-minded university governors: the obstacles to reform are so intimidating that the possibilities of change appear to be, at this stage, no better than marginal.

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No Subject
by Otto Spaniol 31 Jul '02

31 Jul '02

Hello sublist, as a preparatrion for the next TC6 meeting in Beijing (whenever it will happen): LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES (READ OUT LOUD)! 1. That's not right.........................Sum Ting Wong 2. Are you harboring a fugitive?............Hu Yu Hai Ding 3. See me ASAP..............................Kum Hia Nao 4. Stupid Man...............................Dum Gai 5. Small Horse..............................Tai Ni Po Ni 6. Did you go to the beach?.................Wai Yu So Tan 7. I bumped into a coffee table.............Ai Bang Mai Ni 8. I think you need a face lift.............Chin Tu Fat 9. It's very dark in here...................Wao So Dim 10. I thought you were on a diet.............Wai Yu Mun Ching 11. This is a tow away zone..................No Pah King 12. Our meeting is scheduled for next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao? 13. Staying out of sight.....................Lei Ying Lo Best regards Otto

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Amendment to Three Nuns
by Dipak Khakhar 30 Jul '02

30 Jul '02

I have special message from Jose: At 06:32 PM 7/30/02 +0100, OBLOG-Administração wrote: "Only the persons that will attend the Conference and already payed the registration fee will be ellegible for the award. Best wishes Jose"

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No Subject
by Otto Spaniol 19 Jun '02

19 Jun '02

Hello sublist, for those who like driving (and who want to learn about the "correct(?)" rules of it) please see: http://hellsgate.online.ee/~mait/fahrschule.swf and have fun. Best regards Otto

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