Hello sublist,
after a long time of silence... you may find below some absolutely objective and unprejudiced
opinions regarding some nationalities.
Best regards and have a nice weekend
Otto
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TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH
1 You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them
2 You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer
3 a). You can legally kill yourself b). You can legally be killed
4 You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you.
5 You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks
Copenhagen is your capital.
6 You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a
national tradition
7 You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country
8 You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still
you've never seen your neighbours
9 If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started,
blame the Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans
10 Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN
1 You get to speak three languages, but none of them intelligibly
2 If other countries want to fight a war, they will do it in your
country
3 You can brew drinks out of fruit, and still call it beer
4 You are either
a) Like the Dutch, just less efficient
b) Like the French, just less romantic
c) Like the Germans, just less intelligent
5 Decent fries. Real mayonnaise. Great chocolate. The best beer
6 No one knows anything about you, except for the Dutch and the
French and they make fun of you
7 More scandals in a week than any other country in a decade
8 You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody cares
9 All your famous countrymen are either imaginary, or sex-offenders
10 Face it. It's not really a country, is it?
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH :
1 Guinness
2 18 children because you can't use contraceptives
3 You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road
4 Pubs never close
5 Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in second Vatican
Council of 1968
to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on
6 Call an English breakfast an Irish breakfast
7 Kill people you don't agree with
8 Stew
9 Calling Celtic music your music, even when the Scottish, English
and welsh music all sound the same
10 Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the
morning after a bout of sectarian violence
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH:
1 When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay
2 Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time
3 You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs
4 If there's a war you can surrender really early
5 You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on
Channel 4
6 You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries
7 You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
8 Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street
humiliating your sense of national pride
9 You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street
10 People think you're a great lover even when you smell and you're
not
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN:
1 You get to pay the highest taxes in the world
2 You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolf the Reindeer
3 You live in total freezing darkness half the year and get 24 hours
ozone-hole radiation the other half
4 You can get capital punishment for smoking dope
5 You can go skiing in your knickers
6 You get to hate the Swedes and beat the Brazilians in football
7 You have to be a woman to get anywhere
8 You don't need to worry about land prices rocketing - its fairly
spacious
9 When abroad you can impress people you meet with stories about
killing polar bears and shagging penguins - and they believe you
10 You can actually get bored with blondes
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH :
1 Two World Wars and One World Cup
2 Warm beer
3 You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket
4 You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events
5 Union jack underpants
6 Water shortages guaranteed every single summer
7 You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power
8 Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not
9 Ditto changing underwear
10 Beats being Welsh, Irish or Scottish
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH :
1 You ain't English!
2 You ain't English!
3 You ain't English!
4 You ain't English!
5 You ain't English!
6 You ain't English!
7 You ain't English!
8 You ain't English!
9 You ain't English!
10 You ain't English!
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN :
1 In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
2 Unembarrassed to wear fur
3 No need to worry about tax returns
4 Glorious military history prior to 400BC
5 Can wear sunglasses inside
6 Political stability
7 Flexible working hours
8 Live near the Pope
9 Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair
10 Country run by Sicilian murderers
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH :
1 Glorious history of killing South American tribes
2 The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees
3 You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc
4 The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans
5 Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing
6 Honesty
7 Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight
clothes and risk your life in front of bulls
8 You get to eat bull's testicles
9 You cry for Gibraltar
10 Supported Argentina in Falklands War
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN :
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
Give them a second chance:
1 Oktoberfest
2 Oktoberfest-beer
3 BMW
4 VW
5 Audi
6 Mercedes
7 On a highway you can travel at a speed that would bring you to jail
in any other country of the world
8 You do not have to learn German as a foreign language
9 You think Sauerkraut is delicious
10 Contrary to common belief laughing is not forbidden by law (yet)
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH:
1 You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN :
1 You can have a woman president without electing her
2 You can spell color wrong and get away with it
3 You can call Budweiser beer
4 You can be a crook and still be president
5 If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything
6 If you can breathe you can get a gun
7 You get to be really obese
8 You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody
seems to care
9 You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"
10 You can think you're the greatest nation on earth
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN :
1 It beats being an American
2 Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
the ground
3 You can play ice hockey 12 months a year, outdoors
4 Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
the ground
5 Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
6 A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity
ratings will rise
7 Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
the ground
8 Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their
skins
9 Own-an-Eskimo scheme
10 Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
the ground
